Book Reviews
“Money Together” by Heather & Douglas Boneparth Book Review
Do you ever look at your Twitter feed and wonder how you came to discover certain people you follow? That’s what happened to me with Douglass Boneparth. Luckily, what led me to take an increased notice of Boneparth wasn’t that he said something horribly offensive and made me want to block him — but, instead, the announcement of a book he wrote with his wife. With that, I was excited to pick up Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team by Heather Boneparth and Douglass Boneparth. In fact, I became the very first person to borrow it from my local library once it arrived!
Since I came to this book with little knowledge of it aside from the title, I really didn’t know what to expect. A good part of me thought it would probably include some couples’ budget tips and the like (funny enough, they even have a line in the conclusion joking about the lack of such information). Instead, Money Together is built from first-hand accounts provided by the Boneparths themselves as well as several interviews. These insights are compiled into five sections and 30 chapters that cover a wide variety of topics that not only involve money but also other challenges couples may face.
While most of the interviews come from “layman” couples who may have had their names changed for the book, there are a few cameos from people you may recognize. For example, author Morgan Housel pops up near the end and NFL player Trey Burton shares the financial ups and downs he and his wife experience (Sidenote: ask me how many times I’ve watched him throw a touchdown pass to Nick Foles as part of the Philly Special. I dare you.). Regardless of their celebrity status or lack thereof, each of these interviews adds a unique and interesting perspective to the book and drives home some of its key concepts.
To start off, Money Together addresses something you may have heard about in other personal finance books: your money story. In short, what lessons did you learn from your past experiences — either explicitly or subconsciously? Understanding where these feelings about money come from can make it easier for you and your partner to discuss other financial topics.
Another big part of the book is about mistakes. Actually, as the authors note, they prefer the term “missteps” to mistakes — which, after reading their reasoning, I’m embracing. Nevertheless, this section addresses realities such as marrying your partner’s debt (and how you can tackle it as a team). Of course, it also looks at money mistakes missteps you may make as a couple.
Some other stand-out chapters discussed the balancing act between both partners’ careers, power dynamics that you may not mean to reinforce (but do anyway), and an interesting observation regarding job loss. I was also surprised by some of the insights surrounding the role of step-parents. Be advised that there are some perhaps upsetting stories shared in Money Together, especially in a chapter about financial abuse and other types of abuse.
By the way, even though it covers some serious topics, the book is surprisingly funny. There were at least a handful of times I laughed out loud, along with others that got a smile out of me. Somewhat related, I liked how the Boneparths weaved their stories in with the interviews — including one standout joke that references back to a previous story from another couple.
Each section of the book features a list of questions you can not only ask yourself but also discuss with your partner. I thought these were a great way to not only remind readers of what they just read and have them reflect on it but also to go deeper in conversation.
As I alluded to, Money Together happens to be one of the first physical books I’ve read in a while (I usually opt for audiobooks). Thus, it earns the distinction of being the first book I’ve read that features a QR code (surely there are plenty of others, but this was the first I’ve encountered). Scanning this QR code will bring you to a site where you can download all of the aforementioned questions so that you don’t have to flip back through the book to find them all.
All in all, I thought Money Together was a fantastic and insightful read. The second I closed the back cover, I thought about handing it to my wife to read as well (which I’ll probably have her do at a later date once she’s scratched some other titles off of her reading list). Even if she doesn’t get around to that, though, we can still learn from the book’s lessons by going through the provided questions. In my opinion, I expect that doing so will only serve to make our awesome marriage even better.
As for those who may have had financial-related struggles in their relationship, I believe that applying the advice from Money Together could very well be healing. And, even if you’re currently single, it may be worth reading the book now so that you can be ready for serious relationships of the future. Basically, I highly recommend checking out Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team for yourself.
- Includes interviews with several couples as well as other experts
- Touches on a variety of money and life topics
- Not a typical how to or budgeting book
